Last night I read at an open mic. The others there were just starting to remember my name. It was fun, I thought I’d found my tribe. I told everyone I was moving, and the open mic was one of my favorite things about Utah. It felt like good closure, a sweet “see you later.”
I have a great deal of change on the horizon. This is a good thing, and mostly of my own design. I know change can produce stress and anxiety for me. My main challenges are:
1) Leaving the military after 15 years
2)Moving to another state/city (Albuquerque) where I don’t really know anyone
3) Entering the civilian workforce
4) Leaving the small but powerful support system taking root after living in Ogden for a year and a half
This is what a Do-Over looks like. I am changing costumes. I am abandoning nearly everything which is familiar.
I’m excited about the individual elements, but looking at it aggregated, it’s a bit much. There are some things I’ll need to be intentional about in order to have some semblance of stability during this tumultuous season:
1) Not neglecting myself- sleep, eat better, exercise
2) Stay connected with God
3) Find peer groups immediately (Especially Jiu Jitsu)
4) Don’t entertain negative thoughts
5) Most importantly, check in with myself so I don’t take my crap out on my family.
The next few months, especially the next few weeks are daunting, but I can do it, as long as I remain mindful to remain mindful. I’m a little scared, but my anticipation of my adventure is much stronger than my fear and anxiety. I can do this, and wether I could or not, it’s happening, and I’m grateful.