Changes and Challenges

Last night I read at an open mic. The others there were just starting to remember my name. It was fun, I thought I’d found my tribe. I told everyone I was moving, and the open mic was one of my favorite things about Utah. It felt like good closure, a sweet “see you later.”

I have a great deal of change on the horizon. This is a good thing, and mostly of my own design. I know change can produce stress and anxiety for me. My main challenges are:

1) Leaving the military after 15 years

2)Moving to another state/city (Albuquerque) where I don’t really know anyone

3) Entering the civilian workforce

4) Leaving the small but powerful support system taking root after living in Ogden for a year and a half


This is what a Do-Over looks like. I am changing costumes. I am abandoning nearly everything which is familiar.

I’m excited about the individual elements, but looking at it aggregated, it’s a bit much. There are some things I’ll need to be intentional about in order to have some semblance of stability during this tumultuous season:

1) Not neglecting myself- sleep, eat better, exercise

2) Stay connected with God

3) Find peer groups immediately (Especially Jiu Jitsu)

4) Don’t entertain negative thoughts

5) Most importantly, check in with myself so I don’t take my crap out on my family.


The next few months, especially the next few weeks are daunting, but I can do it, as long as I remain mindful to remain mindful. I’m a little scared, but my anticipation of my adventure is much stronger than my fear and anxiety. I can do this, and wether I could or not, it’s happening, and I’m grateful.



I heard this song ( Charles Bradley covering Black Sabbath’s “Changes” ) on the radio today, and it resonated with me. This is a time of change for me in nearly every area of my life.

This past weekend was hammock weather. I grilled with my shirt off. Yesterday and today have been snowing. The weather doesn’t know which season to wear.

I’ve started training jiu jitsu regularly again, praise the Jesus.

Our medical marijuana bills were both killed through heinous dickery/political gaming, which makes our future in Utah uncertain.

I interviewed for a job last week in a bad suit. I didn’t smile. I was concerned I hadn’t heard from them, it was Friday. I reworked my resume on Thursday, and was just about to send it in to the HR guy, when I got a phone call telling me I got the job. I was/am over the moon excited, this is finally beginning to feel real.

I don’t feel like I’m being crushed, but there’s a lot going on. I feel pretty stable and okay with it. I’ll likely feel mounting anxiety, and I’ll probabl handle what I can handle and ride it out, like I always do.

I’m going through changes.