This was painful and difficult to write, and once written, I wrestled with posting it. No one’s family is perfect, and there’s hardwired Asian shame about making the family look bad, but I had to share this and unravel it. I think I’m going to have to write on some lighter, less fraught topics soon, or I will risk losing my small audience. I don’t want to bring people down or give the perception I’m perpetually gloomy.

I have 3 brothers. We’re not very close- 2 live on different islands in Hawai’i, and one lives in California, and is 18 years my senior.

I have a brother I haven’t seen since 2006.The last time before that was 2002, I think.

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A courteous note from Julius Barfolino (your methy neighbor)


Dearest Neighbors,

I am sorry I spray-painted your cat, and I hope Nibbles can find it in his heart to forgive me. I know it will never go back to how it was, but, alas, that’s my own doing.

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